Maybe there's something wrong with me - maybe...
Soundtrack: Maybe by Scarlet's Well
Another Sunday night, another Sunday that my stomach is turning, in fear of Monday. I disliked my previous job but this is a real low...
I was explaining to a pal of mine this week that the theme tune to Last of the Summer Wine reminds me of this sensation, that sinking feeling that told you that your Chemistry homework was sitting in your bag unfinished once more. My Chemistry teacher wasn't stupid and of course noticed the number of Mondays I took off (my illness was almost always feigned).
So what else? I'm pleased to say that we are having a visit from
Mrs West in mid-February, can't wait to see her and have a big old night out. I'm off to
Miss Duckworth's hen do in a couple of weekends' time. On Friday night I had a long and boozy meal with
JJ,
Bell of the Ball and
DL, which was great. Delivered in Russell Brand accent: S'nice to have a fun evening out. 'Sciting.
This week brings...well, I'm not sure yet. Some small succcesses, perhaps? Who can say.
I get a funny feeling inside of me...
Soundtrack: the music from Super Mario Galaxy, over and over and over again
I have just had one of the worst weeks of my professional life. Given that it's Friday night and I have managed to shake off the misery I came home with three hours ago, I am not going to go into detail.
Aside from that...there were a couple of observations that I made this week that I wanted to make here: they made me laugh and cry, in that order.
A couple of days back I was reading the Sun over someone's shoulder, and I saw these two headlines, on almost consecutive pages:
'JAIL BREAK-IN TO GIVE TRANNIE LAG KNICKERS'
and
'I CAN'T STOP GIVING SEX TO FELLAS AT BUS DEPOT'
Jesus. I spent the rest of my bus journey bemused but very tickled (and no, I didn't ask the driver if he had been on the receiving end of the nookie offered in the paper).
On Wednesday evening I went out with some work colleagues, ice skating. It was fun I suppose (although the people I went with are quite sweet I don't want to have to do it again. If this week is anything to go by I won't be in the job much longer anyway, ta very much). It was at a rink next to the Tower of London, which I haven't visited since I was a small girl.
I have quite a few memories of visiting London as a child. It stuck with me, I suppose because it always represented a route out of my life in Devon. When I was on the rink I remembered the Tower, the crushing boredom that was the Crown Jewels and the ravens through a six-year old's eyes. I also remembered the Tower of London activity book I used to own, and that I used to be a little obsessed with the story of the Princes in the Tower.
Typically, because it is January, I was also reminded of my Dad. Eighteen years ago this week he was still alive and he was happier than he'd been in a few years - he had a job he loved and he'd recently paid off the mortgage. He was so proud of being from London and spoke of Bermondsey like it was the land of milk and honey (when really, it is the land of Jade Goody). The sheer pain and misery I felt when he died is still with me, but rather than having an anchor around my neck, it's just a small weight in my pocket. That doesn't mean I don't feel it any less. I feel it every damn day.
I didn't let my colleagues see me shed a tear, of course.
A few sobering thoughts
Happy 2008 to those of you whom might be browsing here - although I'd imagine that anyone checking this will be pretty unlikely. I know I said I wouldn't write this again, but I have changed my mind: as the ex-Mr Whitney Houston once sang, it's my perogative.
The last six months have been interesting, but they have also been extraordinarily dull. I didn't get out much, and that's an understatement: closer to the truth is that I became a bit of a social reject. I have some fun new workmates, but I miss my old ones. Every time I pass near my old building, I feel nostalgic.
On the employment front, I can emphatically say that I don't enjoy my new job. I think I was mis-sold it a bit, possibly. I have also discovered that I don't like to people-manage very much, which is a bit of a problem when that is pretty much 100% of the job. Also, for a large corporation, it is badly organised (I thought my old place was a shambles...). So, this was a big change that hasn't turned out nearly as well as I had envisaged it would. Put it this way: my subscriptions to all the job websites are being re-activated as I type.
In true blogger spirit, and inspired by
Afraid of Ducks, I am going to cobble together some end of year lists to start things off.
High points of 2007Walking to the bank with my settlment cheque on my final day at my old job. I was solvent - for the first time ever!
Spending some time in New York, the world's greatest city
Playing with Bailey on his second birthday
My redundancy party
Opening weekend of the Royal Festival Hall
The magic of Super Mario Galaxy on the Wii
Low points of 2007Realising very quickly that my new job was rubbish
My nephew's arrest, subsequent bail problems and all that went with it
My mother's illness
Some favourite thingsTVHeroes season 1
The Mighty Boosh series 3 (after a dodgy start)
The IT Crowd series 2
BooksBlink by Malcolm Gladwell
The Every Boy by Dana Adam Shapiro
FilmsThe Walker
Casino Royale (which surprised me by being both funny, violent and intelligent)
Albums/SongsTransparent Things by Fujiya and Miyagi
Worried Noodles by David Shrigley and pals
We are your friends by Justice vs. Simian (thanks to that bleedin' camera ad!)
Wooh! Alright, Yeh Uh-huh by the Rapture
And that's it. I was going to put a list of stuff I didn't like, but I feel negative enough at the moment and I don't want to overdo that.
At any rate, I guess it's good to be back here.
