i-want-more

Insomnia

Did anyone out there know that Chris Isaak had a TV show?

I didn't, until I happened upon it at 4.30 this morning, having been woken up by JJ's coughing, and having two songs buzzing incessantly through my head (White Car in Germany by the Associates and High Fidelity by Elvis Costello...what was I saying yesterday about being retarded?).

The main plot featured Chris in pursuit of a clapped-out old car that he had recently sold. His new car was soulless, with heated seats and voice-activated locking that kept failing. It also had satellite navigation featuring the voice of one of an actress ex-girlfriend from LA. At one point he had an 'argument' with the sat-nav system about fishfingers, whereupon the system shut itself down. At one point the old car spoke to him in a dream - 'Chris - don't you love me anymore? I have a feeling that I'm not the only car in your life'.

A sub-plot featured Isaak's dopey bandmate, whom was trying to break a world go-karting record (he decided on this course of action after his friend had been crushed to death by a soft-drinks vending machine. Don't ask). He pitted his wits against a 13-year old boy.

Another sub-plot featured Isaak's manager. She had been hit in the eye with a coffee bean and was wearing an eye-patch.

Something that wasn't explained - backstage before the Isaak onstage sequences in the show, he talked at length to a naked woman who was being rotated on a circular thingy covered in blue fur fabric - she was pretending to swim.

As the cherry on the already glorious cake, the episode featured the mighty Sheila E, she of Prince's backing-band and 'The Belle of Saint Mark' fame.

I know what you're wondering. Yes, Chris did indeed get his old car back, but only after paying the teenage girl who bought it - in cash and in whimsical country songs - at her birthday party.

I'm typing this out here and I can barely believe it. Perhaps my Lamb Rogan Josh had been spiked last night?

posted by deafdisco @ 11:00 pm