i-want-more

Strange days

The weekend was spent caring for my mother and being reminded of the 20 year anniversary of an enormous, life-changing event. The irony didn't escape me when I found myself in Devon on this major anniversary, doing exactly what I did 20 years ago to the day/hour/minute - not sleeping, worrying my head off and crying, albeit about a mile and half up the road from where I was before.

I was also reminded that it is possible to be practical and deal with stuff that you're not expecting at short notice, when you are forced to. My sleep was interrupted by Mum frequently - she needed help to do things, and I gave it to her. I was also disturbed by The Dog at one point, who jumped onto the bed and gawped at me like a furry apparition, the first time she has ever come into the bedroom at night. They say that dogs are sensitive to serious illness and I suppose this was proof. [Then again, she was just as likely to have been wanting a biscuit. There's no way of knowing.]

I should be clear and say that I am neither seeking, nor expecting pity. Life goes on and as ever, we all find ways to cope and deal with what we've been given. Sleep deprivation is something I don't deal with very well, so it's an opportunity to learn. I'm not a wreck, even though I know what's coming. I'm not sure as yet if that's more or less comforting than what happened with my Dad.

posted by deafdisco @ 11:33 am