i-want-more

Everybody cares, everybody understands

Soundtrack: XO by Elliott Smith

It always seems to me that funerals happen at this time of year. It's just possible that the whole January/funerals thing in my mind is entirely down to the fact that my father died in January. It seems that I can't get away from the fact that this dark, miserable month is bound up in my mind with death.

Some of you will be eyeing the soundtrack choice and tutting, 'she's her own worst enemy'.

On Friday last week I received a call from my cousin Liza. Her dad (Bill) died on New Year's Eve and the funeral is next week.

Funerals leave me a wreck. I know I'm not the only person whom feels like this, but I find my reaction to them rather extreme. I consider myself to be a fairly rational body, but as soon as I enter a crematorium or church I automatically become a blubbering mess.

[N.B. The one time that this didn't happen was when I went to my Aunt's funeral. We went to the wrong cemetery and missed the whole shebang. My aunt had told my mother that she didn't want us there; she got her wish. The only thing I can recall clearly from that day was a floral display in the shape of a Jack Russell - she had five dogs, three of which were Jackies. Incongruous and funny.]

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The weekend was a minor success. I spent a lot of time lying about/dozing/watching repeats on digital telly.

We also spent some time at the allotment: cutting down asparagus plants, mulching rhubarb crowns with manure. I'm feeling positive about the allotment this year. In the next week or two I hope to get some blackcurrant bushes in. Given that you don't appear to be able to buy blackcurrants in shops anymore (well, you can buy them. I just refuse to pay over two quid for a miniscule punnet), I think this is a good idea.

I'm going to spend more time gardening this year than I did last year. That's the nearest thing to a resolution that I'm going to be making this year.

posted by deafdisco @ 11:36 am