Monday, July 20, 2009

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn, goodbye

I think it's time to take a bit of a break from this for a while.

I've noticed that I have nothing much to post here and that has been demoralising. Not discussing the wedding was a conscious decision, as the last thing I wanted to do was appear to be some kind of ludicrous nuptials-obsessed crazy woman with nothing else to talk about. I can't avoid the wedding, and it's getting increasingly close (ten weeks away), and it seems that (just like blogging) it is a thief of time.

Also, this weekend we ended up back in Devon again, because my mother was hospitalised with severe anaemia. This was a bit of a shock. She should have been getting more frequent blood tests but wasn't - her haemoglobin level was half what it should have been. I could rant on for paragraphs about how badly her healthcare has been handled, but I'm saving that for my complaint to the primary care trust.

I'm exhausted after a weekend of driving, hospital visiting, listening intently, saying the right things, cleaning up, laundry and being on the telephone. If nothing else, it's made me realise what Sister #3 has been going through for the past few years and I have resolved to do more with my mum than I have done in recent times - specifically, to visit more often and to do more to help when I'm there. Quite how things are going to work out is anyone's guess, but I can no longer take the view that out of sight = out of mind.

What I don't want to do is end up posting pointless crap on here about how terrible everything is and how tired I am, because frankly, who cares about that? Self-pity is simply that - about the self, not others.

The change will hopefully do me good, and with luck I'll return here in better shape, more inclined and inspired to write and record.

3 Comments:

At 9:34 pm, Blogger Mr T said...

Sorry to hear about your mum, and how shit the NHS has been treating her. You shouldn't worry about posting stuff others might not find that entertaining - your blog is for you more than it is for anyone else. We can't always resolve issues in our heads, so we need a canvas on which to paint our woes. Whether anyone else chooses - or does not choose - to view the Jackson Pollock that spills forth is entirely up to them.

Well, that's how I see it anyway.

 
At 8:16 am, Blogger deafdisco said...

it's funny...after i posted this, i was thinking how much i wanted to talk about the allotment. so i might not be as long waiting to come back as i had thought. it was just one of those things. i was exhausted when i posted this, a classic chucking the toys out of the pram moment.

 
At 8:24 am, Blogger deafdisco said...

and it was after posting this that i realised the lovely rachel had posted a link to the blog on her blog. so it would be stupid to just jack it in, wouldn't it now. ps thanks for your kind words tone.

 

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